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Breaking the Cycle

It’s been a week since I last posted. After years writing almost every day, it seems strange – standing at the edge of the blog – rummaging around in my mental bag, looking for some words to contribute. It almost feels like the blog has become this place or person that I’ve had an awkward falling out with, and now I’m not quite sure how to start a conversation.

Perhaps ignoring the atmosphere is the best solution. Ignore the blog while it stares at me tiptoeing around the edge of the room, with “where the f*ck have you been?” written all over its face.

Where have I been?

I was furloughed through the first half of this week. If you’re not entirely sure what that means, it’s pretty straightforward – if you are furloughed, the company you work for forces you to take unpaid leave. Happily, the UK government is paying a large proportion of my salary during the days I am furloughed – a safety net of sorts that has been operating throughout the pandemic. There are strict rules while you are “furloughed” – you cannot work on any paid project work for your employer – but you can undertake “professional development” – training courses, and so on.

Instead of spending the furlough days this week hitting the textbooks, I replaced the roof on our shed. Go me. I thought I might also write some more thoughtful words over at Medium, but that didn’t happen. I’m not sure why. I didn’t go running either – I’m still waiting for my knee to heal properly. It’s been a dispiriting kind of week really.

Anyway. It’s Friday, it’s raining, I’m drinking my second coffee of the day, and some cafe jazz playlist is quietly burbling away in the background. I should probably get on with some work.

24 replies on “Breaking the Cycle”

It rained last night. The first significant rain we’ve had in near a month. When you walk, things underfoot have been crispy. So, I’m more than a little jealous of your regular downpours. (Though I suppose it drives the imperative in roof repair.) My blogs are driven by my activities…and there’s never any shortage of things that need doing. I like it this way. There’s plenty of things to process in this uncertain world, and regular physical work is one way to approach that goliath. That dynamic is what prevents the blog from becoming a constant rant. (That and that I only blog once or twice a week.)

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I think that’s part of the reason I’ve not been writing – because it’s too easy to just start ranting about anything and everything. I don’t like being that person, so just do as my grandfather once advised – see all, hear all, and say nowt.

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We are having a lovely day weatherwise. During this pandemic I’ve struggled with my blog too. I need the interaction of people (preferably stupid people to make it funny) and I haven’t been getting it. I’m hoping my muse returns since I’ve been able to get out a bit. Roofing a shed is rewarding work. You can see the results. I like that.

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[Again am not sure if my comments are going through but I’ll try!]

You sound to me like you’re taking your furlough in stride. As for not feeling like you have anything to say on your blog, we’ve all been there. As I said on an earlier comment [that I’m not sure you got], I find that when I allow myself to have nothing to say, I eventually find that I have something to say. A thought

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I envy you your rain…it’s 103 here and dry and brittle and worrisome. Blah. I mean, it happens every summer, but California’s drought means that the trees are stressed and wildfires are a given, and maybe more people will lose their lives and their homes this year. I hate fire season, which is hopefully still a few months off. We spent a few days in Portland last weekend, and it rained and was cool and glorious. Everyone kept apologizing to us for the weather, but we were thrilled. It all seemed so LUSH.

Congratulations on getting your shed roof replaced, that is certainly an accomplishment!

My husband was furloughed for 2 (non consecutive) weeks last year, and thankfully the government stepped in and he did not lose any money. But it is disconcerting and worrisome to know that your work is going through hard times, it makes me worry that perhaps more are to come.

I haven’t posted on my blog in almost 2 weeks now…I guess I had better do something about that….

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I think perhaps jazz has been the unlikely discovery during the pandemic (for me). I always used to think of it as the guy in the polo neck sitting on a bar stool, listening to uninteligible rubbish, nodding his head, smokine a cigarette, and saying “niiiccceeee” now and again. I had never thought of it as the cafe background music on a rainy day.

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