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Life

Ankles, Earwax and Wasp Stings

It’s been an eventful few days in my little corner of the universe. Where to start?

For the last few days my ankles have decided to start something of a protest against sitting at a desk throughout my working day. They have done this by accumulating water and swelling up really quite impressively (I was going to write “spectacularly”, but that seems a bit over the top, although also accurate). I had been hoping to get out running, or on the bike to combat it, but the weather has had other ideas – the temperature has rarely dipped below 30C in the UK during the last week. It’s supposed to drop by a few degrees over the weekend – not before time.

Over the past couple of years my ears have decided that they really like conjuring up earwax from wherever they conjure it up from, and have gotten really, really good at it. This week I decided enough was enough, and enlisted the help of an over-the-counter remedy. You pour a few drips into your ear, tip your head over, and let the magic happen. The bottle mentions nothing about the party going on in your earhole while whatever it is fizzes, and turns into the itchiest substance known to science. I won’t trouble you with the gunk that fell out of my ear after pumping water into it afterwards. It was impressive.

Finally, at lunchtime today I decided it might be a good idea (to combat the ever increasing ankle radius problem) to go outside and play frisbee with my youngest daughter. Five minutes into said shenanigans, a wasp decided to fly between my foot and my sandle – which caused me to jump around like somebody that had just stood on a small explosive device. My daughter couldn’t stop laughing as I walked back to the house with one bare foot, and then took a rather morbid interest in the dark vein of poison spreading up my foot from the sting-site. Thankfully ice blocks from the freezer stopped it in it’s tracks, and I stopped hopping around and cursing mere minutes later.

In other news, once my salary falls into the black hole we like to call our bank account in a few days time, we are going to pull the trigger on replacing our mobile phones. We’re switching everybody to Google Pixels. Apple can shove their idiot devices that never play well with others wherever they like.

7 replies on “Ankles, Earwax and Wasp Stings”

I had the opposite problem – all my devices are Apple so when I got finally got a smartphone (to replace my dumb ole mobile phone) it ran Android and it drove me cuckoo – nothing worked the way I was used to and, no, it did not play well with my other toys…I finally just threw that thing against a wall and got an iPhone – it’s all in what you’re used to…

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The difference between wasps and bees is that wasps can sting again and again. When a bee stings, its stinger pulls its guts out with it, so it’s a suicide attack. Modern life is more like the wasp, whereas the old days life used to be like the bees. The list of bad things that can happen is extensive and exhaustive.

— Catxman

http://www.catxman.wordpress.com

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