On the outside, looking in

As I grow older a realisation of sorts has happened – that the world will continue on with or without me, and that my participation in it is largely inconsequential. I think perhaps as you get older you begin to appreciate that it’s not all about you.

When I was young, like many I was filled with a wonderful level of conceit, self importance, and lack of empathy. Most people are. This is no bad thing – while finding your way in the world, if you worry too much about everybody else finding their way, you might lose track of where you are headed.

There’s a difference between heading and course though.

The direction we’re going right now might not take us to the destination we had planned. And that’s ok.

Maybe there’s a danger in thinking too much, too. If we worry too much about each step, we end up going sideways – we never find out “what if”. I don’t mean the big things either – it’s the countless small things during the day.

Do you reach out to that friend you haven’t heard from for ages? Do you worry that they have too much going on?

It’s the worrying about things you haven’t done because you’re worried what others might think, forgetting that nobody is really that interested in whatever you are doing – they have their own mayhem to navigate.

I don’t really know where I’m going with this.

Maybe all I’m saying is “I’m fine”, “you’re fine”, and “don’t worry – it will turn out alright in the end”. I can’t help smiling to myself now, and adding “if it is not alright, it is not the end”.

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Jonathan

Software and web developer, husband, father, cat wrangler, writer, runner, coffee drinker, retro video games player. Pizza solves most things.

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