I have become my own worst enemy, but at least I’ve caught myself while sliding into the abyss. I should probably explain.
I’ve been tinkering with a Youtube channel for a little while now – recording content, and sharing it with the wider world (or rather, a niche interest dark corner of the wider world). Anyway – about two years ago the YouTube channel got monetised, meaning I could make money from adverts injected into my videos.
Fast forward to today, and after many hundreds or even thousands of hours consistently pushing out content, the Youtube channel is making a respectable amount of money. The channel has many thousands of subscribers, and astronomical viewing figures. And there lies the problem. I can see the opportunity to make money, but there’s only so many hours in the day.
Since the end of last week I’ve been working on content for the channel every night – into the early hours. This is on top of chores, and a full-time day job. Other people have questioned how the hell I’m doing it – even I have begun to question it. I’m burning the candle at both ends, while standing on a burning bridge with my trousers on fire – all the while feeding the fire.
Don’t get me wrong – the money is wonderful. We needed it. But there is a huge danger that the fun will be removed from it all if I carry on the way I am going. In the early hours this morning I posted a message to the YouTube channel letting the subscribers know that I was stepping back for a few days. Recharching my batteries.
Work has been the same way recently too. I could really have done with going for a walk today – to get some fresh air – but after one thing and another with work, it didn’t happen.
While all of this has been going on, I’ve fallen completely off the radar. Friends have seen little of me for weeks now. I need to fix that somehow. Make some “mental health” time for myself – to just watch rubbish television, walk to the shops, and so on. I wrote an article on Medium some time ago about not doing things – I need to take my own advice.