Categories
Life

After the Storm

The greater part of this week has been spent submerged in an alien computer system – trying to make head or tail of how it works, how it hangs together, and how I might use it going forwards. There have been times when I wondered how far down the rabbit hole went – if I might see the surface again. This afternoon lightbulb after lightbulb switched on in the depths of my fragmented brain, and launched me back towards the surface. I suddenly have stories to tell co-workers, insights to share, and a brave new world to describe.

It’s a relief.

It’s amazing how much energy you expend when you don’t know where you’re going, or what you’re really doing. Hitting google, textbooks, and discussion forums works to an extent, but the only real escape is via knowledge and experience – and they both have to be earned.

I’m shattered.

I’m finding it difficult to concentrate this afternoon. Having climbed to the top of the first mental hill of many I might face over the coming months, I’m wondering about downing tools for a while. It’s difficult – I become my worst enemy at times like this. Now that I have reached the top of the first hill, I can see the next one. The temptation to set out towards it is enormous.

Perhaps I’ll go and make a coffee.

Categories
Life

Slogging

Today was difficult. The design of something I have been working through for the last few days got ripped out from under my feet, and changed – causing a lot of re-work. I guess this is the reality of not wearing all the hats on a project. Not fun.

Anyway – I’m not supposed to write about work. It’s probably unprofessional. I need to learn about not being the project owner, and letting go – not worrying about timescales, deadlines, budgets, and outcomes. All I can really do is my best.

It took three (small) glasses of wine this evening to realise that all I can do is my best.

I’m now sitting in the junk room listening to loud music, and writing this. While writing, I’m downloading a load of music to put on the music system I inherited from our daughters. They are all decorating their rooms, which means I inherit everything they no longer want. I wonder if they’ll realise at some point that a music system sounds FAR better than a mobile phone ?

After I write this I’m going to get into a pretend aeroplane, and go for a fly. It helps take my mind off things.

I wonder if we have any chocolate anywhere? And I wonder how far I might run in the morning ?